The stories are legendary… errors made when selecting tattoos under duress, heightened emotions, weakened relationships, or substance influence. But in the end, you alone are responsible for your ink. What follows is a gathering of standout people that boast tattoos that everyone will take pictures of… just for all the wrong reasons.
Star Light, not too Bright
The undeniable top of the bad idea list goes to this winner, whose drunk-night-out ended with a fantastically poorly done constellation splashed across her mug. Already on the phone in the midst of planning its future removal before the morning’s end, her facial ink proves the hard truth: when in doubt, try it out with a Sharpie first.
So That’s What that Smells Like
Got My Order?
Keeping with the McDonald’s theme, we present the all-American classic: the Golden Arches tramp stamp. Notice the elegant matching panties and cropped top. Ronald would be proud.
Marilyn, We Hardly Knew Ye
Time of Whose Life?
So Far Gone
At Arm’s Length
Webster’s Dictionary defines “coarage” as what the drillers from that movie Armageddon did on the asteroid. COURAGE, on the other hand, is “the ability to do something that frightens one.”
Side note: those are some hairy pits!
Not Now, Or Ever
Down for the Cause!
I mustache-you about your tattoo
Hey, here’s a new family tradition….handlebar mustaches. Christmas dinner just won’t be the same.
Definitely Not Wonderland
Sad: Tattooing cakes and sundaes on your body. Sadder: On your love handles.
Hot Dog Fonz
Show Us Your Tat
Chuck Taylor Forever
E.T. Phone Home
Actually, upon further review this isn’t that bad of a tattoo, considering the actual resemblance to its subject. Touche! Still, an interesting choice and one that wasn’t executed well.
You’ll “Roo” the Day
Perhaps the most hilarious part of this masterpiece is not the kangaroo, nor the love of pointed emblems, but that the shape of the stars actually, just barely, resembles Australia. If you squint, mate.
Things Roll Off My Chest
This is one messed up decision. The subject and location are both questionable. I’m going to assume this guy is in a chair himself and isn’t making fun of others who are. But maybe I’m giving him too much credit and he’s a jerk who makes fun of handicapped people.
What better way to celebrate a bad decision by tattooing the result of one. Britney’s mega-meltdown, umbrella-swinging, head-shaved freakout memorialized for the ages.
Well, I can think of one…
Six Sick Dwarves
I Like Turtles
The rule that tattoos look bad later in life is on full display here. So many questions about this one… it looks relatively new. Did someone do this to him? Does he have a drug problem? I want to know this story!
It’s Cold in Here
Squeeze ‘Em Good
Evolution of a Tattoo
More Effective Than Condoms
And the award for least attractive appealing tattoo goes to…
We’re Done Here
Bathtub and dinner time are sure to be a lot more fun with built-in airplanes to play with. But how is she going to accessorize with these?
I love hot dogs. I love hot dogs. I love hot dogs. I love hot dogs. I love hot dogs. I love hot dogs.
I swear, if it wasn’t written on my foot I’d completely forget what my fave food is.
Maybe this is just a guy with a bad memory too. His BFFs are Patsy, Ritchie, and Alice, and he simply wants to keep their names straight.
Fairy tale imperfection
This scene of a sad-looking fairy is all the more questionable when you take a close look at her crotch. She seems to have one of the most unfortunate-looking bikini lines ever. A wax job might have been in order before she was reproduced permanently onto someone’s skin.
I enjoy a bit of humor as much as the next guy, but really can’t help feeling sad for this chick. Even if her current significant other finds this tat amusing, chances are that the next one won’t. And is there a bigger turnoff when you’re trying to get busy with someone and you come face to face with a giant steaming turd, complete with swarming flies?
I really do hope that lucky girl Nina said yes. And that she took this loser back to finish his GED and maybe brush up on his spelling.
This look my friends, is job interview gold. Eyebrows that say “F*ck You” are a sure sign to any HR department that you’re responsible, professional, and considerate of your fellow co-workers.
I think this slack-jawed yokel is attempting to disguise his man-boobs with the lower lip on the smoking smile. Seriously, do these people look in the mirror?
Just do it
I know that Nikes and other sneakers have grown ridiculously expensive, but a tattoo is just not going to give you the athletic support that an actual shoe will. Save the tat money and invest in a pair of real trainers.
You know, sometimes people with full face tattoos look intimidating, mean, or menacing. This tough guy still manages to look friendly, despite the green demons crawling out of his face.
There seem to be a lot of misogynistic tattoos out there. This one makes clever use of the man’s armpit and turns it into a Rated X nudie scene. Nice.
Guys, I just can’t wait to get back to the office on Monday and sit at my desk.
To be fair, I love those chairs too, but it’s still a weird thing to have tattooed.
When it comes to tattoos, it’s vital that you plan ahead. Do your research, show your design to friends, proofread it, and count your fingers.
Don’t look now, but there’s a head growing out of the side of your face, dude! It’s huge, and purple, and looks like it’s going to eat you!
He’s got a real six-pack. I’m sure he’s a hit at all the NASCAR events he attends.
Although I’ve gotta admit that I do appreciate a little humor in tattoos.
This person must have really fond memories of riding the school bus. The lack of seatbelts, no A/C, the weird rubbery smell the seats had… I can see why the school bus provides such nostalgia.
That’s so cute… this guy let a random child scribble a monster or other monstrosity, and he turned it into a permanent tat. Smart move!
Old blue eyes
I’m going to tell myself that this guy isn’t even aware of what’s going on back there. This is all a mean trick that a scorned wife or girlfriend did to him.
Right on the money
I wish I could make out the tattoo on his arm more clearly. But the “STUPID” across his forehead says enough, I guess. And what’s that he’s drinking?
My guess is that this tattoo was done on a dare. Or maybe it’s the ultimate in hipster irony? Either way, I’m sure it leads to a lot of funny conversations with strangers.