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Terrible Tatoos People Got Without Thinking

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The stories are legendary… errors made when selecting tattoos under duress, heightened emotions, weakened relationships, or substance influence. But in the end, you alone are responsible for your ink. What follows is a gathering of standout people that boast tattoos that everyone will take pictures of… just for all the wrong reasons.

Star Light, not too Bright

The undeniable top of the bad idea list goes to this winner, whose drunk-night-out ended with a fantastically poorly done constellation splashed across her mug. Already on the phone in the midst of planning its future removal before the morning’s end, her facial ink proves the hard truth: when in doubt, try it out with a Sharpie first.star-face

So That’s What that Smells Like

It takes guts to pull off an armpit tattoo. Even more to envision the appropriate composition as a shark devouring a helpless baby. I wish I thought of that….said no one ever.shark-armpit

Got My Order?

Legend has it that this humiliating  tattoo was the result of a lost bet. Nevertheless, it’s one meal this guy won’t soon forget. Or ever.mcdonalds-receipt

Keeping with the McDonald’s theme, we present the all-American classic: the Golden Arches tramp stamp. Notice the elegant matching panties and cropped top. Ronald would be proud.


Marilyn, We Hardly Knew Ye

We can’t be sure who this is. It started off as Marilyn, but then something went horribly, horribly wrong. Maybe some anti-itch cream, perhaps? She looks like a decomposing corpse.marilyn-twoface

Time of Whose Life?

When they see this dude rip off his shirt in preparation for some serious moshing, even the most diehard fan has got to be asking the question “Who’s that cover band playing Green Day tunes?”greenday-fan

Last Laugh

So the point is to make fun of the swastika, but somehow with this failed tat we all lose. The back hair isn’t helping the matter, either.lol-swastika

Black Power?

Anyone remember the “Chappelle Show skit” that featured a blind, black white supremacist? This guy has at least two of those personas in that crazy mind of his.confused-power

So Far Gone

Think she reps Team Meek Mill or Team Drake? What a classy way to show support for your favorite hip hop artist. And I hope that healed up ok…drake-fan

At Arm’s Length

Like crib notes gone wild, this aspiring nerdist simultaneously displays his computer ineptitude and lack of memory. There’s a whole lot going on here.arm-type


Webster’s Dictionary defines “coarage” as what the drillers from that movie Armageddon did on the asteroid. COURAGE, on the other hand, is “the ability to do something that frightens one.”

Side note: those are some hairy pits!


Heavenly Playlist

I was always curious what shows Jesus would want to check out. Hey, it looks like they left off Jars of Clay, one of the lamest Christian rock groups of the time. And spelled Gwen Stefani wrong…

Not Now, Or Ever

I don’t know who this Jon Bovi person is, but tell him that grammar isn’t his strong point. Maybe he should hire a proofreader.jon-bovi

Down for the Cause!

…so now that that’s over, it would be the perfect time to grow a Jeb Bush to cover up that monstrosity on your jaw.jeb-prez

I mustache-you about your tattoo

Hey, here’s a new family tradition….handlebar mustaches. Christmas dinner just won’t be the same.

Star tats are optional. We don’t want to freak out Uncle Tommy just yet.family-tradition

Hooray Meat

So I’m assuming dating a vegetarian is not on her bucket list. Neither is being fit, toned, tanned, or particularly attractive. She’s got this one down!hooray-meat

Definitely Not Wonderland

Sad: Tattooing cakes and sundaes on your body. Sadder: On your love handles.

In practical terms, she’s simply demonstrating where the extra calories from those foods will end up on her body.eatme-drinkme

Hot Dog Fonz

The Happy Days reference we get, but what’s with the lack of love for the ketchup bottle? These must be the hot dog purists who believe mustard is the only appropriate condiment for the weenies.hotdog-fonz

Hop On

No training wheels? No problem. Just grip onto my tramp stamp and hold on for the ride of your life. I can only make it about 5 miles before I’m out of breath, though.handlebars

Show Us Your Tat

I see what you did there, bullring nipple piercing dude. You turned your nipple into a cow’s nose. Now if you could just figure out how to get free milk…bull-nosering

Chuck Taylor Forever

While there’s no denying the quality of this tattoo, red Chucks for life is a pretty solid commitment. And would look really weird under heels.converse-feet

E.T. Phone Home

Actually, upon further review this isn’t that bad of a tattoo, considering the actual resemblance to its subject. Touche! Still, an interesting choice and one that wasn’t executed well.


You’ll “Roo” the Day

Perhaps the most hilarious part of this masterpiece is not the kangaroo, nor the love of pointed emblems, but that the shape of the stars actually, just barely, resembles Australia. If you squint, mate.kangaroo-stars

Things Roll Off My Chest

This is one messed up decision. The subject and location are both questionable. I’m going to assume this guy is in a chair himself and isn’t making fun of others who are. But maybe I’m giving him too much credit and he’s a jerk who makes fun of handicapped people.handicap-nipple

Bald Britney

What better way to celebrate a bad decision by tattooing the result of one. Britney’s mega-meltdown, umbrella-swinging, head-shaved freakout memorialized for the ages.

The acne in her teeth is primo, too! Barf.bald-britney

Well, I can think of one…

This one gets double knocks, not only for the blatant and unforgivable mis-spelling, but also for the absolutely horrible font choice. Double whammy, double whammy, double whammy!no-regerts

Six Sick Dwarves

The most nauseating fact about this montage isn’t the inferred location of the missing dwarf (read: mining in the crack), but the fact that, judging by body hair, suggest our subject may be male.six-dwarves

I Like Turtles

No better way to wake up every morning than having a surprised Michelangelo on you honker. Wonder if he turns red when the guy  has a cold and needs to blow his nose frequently.turtle-nose

Feeling Blue

When your Blue Man group tryouts don’t go as planned, you might be in the mood to do something crazy, like this guy did. Don’t do it! You’ll regret it, trust this guy.blue-man

Tyson Tribal

Tribal tats are generally regrettable, but when they’re on your face, it takes it to a whole new level. Iron Mike may know the feeling.tyson-tribal

Bad Grandpa

The rule that tattoos look bad later in life is on full display here. So many questions about this one… it looks relatively new. Did someone do this to him? Does he have a drug problem?  I want to know this story!grandpa-prison

It’s Cold in Here

There’s no better way to show how cool you are than displaying your favorite frosty treat on your face. Slushies, ice cream cones, Italian Ice, it all looks cool man.icecream-face

Soup’s On

The bad armpit tattoo tradition continues. What happened to leaving something to the imagination? And is that an ONION? I wouldn’t want to advertise an onion odor anywhere near my pits.onion-pit

Squeeze ‘Em Good

I bet the guy gets scared every single time he looks down and has forgotten about the tat. “Oh sh*t I’m about to be pinched on the nipple!” Hell, he might even need counseling for this.lobster-pinch

Wide Load

Like staring into the center of the sun, it will cause you to lose your vision. This one was clearly done as a joke, I think (well, hope).wide-wedgie

Evolution of a Tattoo

Subject matter and tattoo are on the same track…in progress. Darwin himself would be proud of this ink. Perhaps a little confused as to why so many modern humans receive such dumb tattoos though.evolution-man

More Effective Than Condoms

And the award for least attractive appealing tattoo goes to…

Hey, at least she’s giving people a warning. Poop-involved accidents are generally quite unpleasant.where-poo

We’re Done Here

Remember that night when you got stone cold drunk and got the beginnings of your sleeve done? This is what happens when you decided to do it yourself.grade-school

Vroom vroom

Bathtub and dinner time are sure to be a lot more fun with built-in airplanes to play with. But how is she going to accessorize with these?

Vroom vroom


I love hot dogs. I love hot dogs. I love hot dogs. I love hot dogs. I love hot dogs. I love hot dogs.

I swear, if it wasn’t written on my foot I’d completely forget what my fave food is.


My mates

Maybe this is just a guy with a bad memory too. His BFFs are Patsy, Ritchie, and Alice, and he simply wants to keep their names straight.

My mates

Fairy tale imperfection

This scene of a sad-looking fairy is all the more questionable when you take a close look at her crotch. She seems to have one of the most unfortunate-looking bikini lines ever. A wax job might have been in order before she was reproduced permanently onto someone’s skin.

Fairy tale imperfection

No words

No words

I enjoy a bit of humor as much as the next guy, but really can’t help feeling sad for this chick. Even if her current significant other finds this tat amusing, chances are that the next one won’t. And is there a bigger turnoff when you’re trying to get busy with someone and you come face to face with a giant steaming turd, complete with swarming flies?


I really do hope that lucky girl Nina said yes. And that she took this loser back to finish his GED and maybe brush up on his spelling.



This look my friends, is job interview gold. Eyebrows that say “F*ck You” are a sure sign to any HR department that you’re responsible, professional, and considerate of your fellow co-workers.



I think this slack-jawed yokel is attempting to disguise his man-boobs with the lower lip on the smoking smile. Seriously, do these people look in the mirror?


Just do it

I know that Nikes and other sneakers have grown ridiculously expensive, but a tattoo is just not going to give you the athletic support that an actual shoe will. Save the tat money and invest in a pair of real trainers.

Just do it


You know, sometimes people with full face tattoos look intimidating, mean, or menacing. This tough guy still manages to look friendly, despite the green demons crawling out of his face.



There seem to be a lot of misogynistic tattoos out there. This one makes clever use of the man’s armpit and turns it into a Rated X nudie scene. Nice.



Guys, I just can’t wait to get back to the office on Monday and sit at my desk.

To be fair, I love those chairs too, but it’s still a weird thing to have tattooed.


Plan Ahea

When it comes to tattoos, it’s vital that you plan ahead. Do your research, show your design to friends, proofread it, and count your fingers.

Plan Ahea

Two-headed monster

Don’t look now, but there’s a head growing out of the side of your face, dude! It’s huge, and purple, and looks like it’s going to eat you!

Two-headed monster

Pit crew

He’s got a real six-pack. I’m sure he’s a hit at all the NASCAR events he attends.

Although I’ve gotta admit that I do appreciate a little humor in tattoos.

Pit crew

Magic bus

This person must have really fond memories of riding the school bus. The lack of seatbelts, no A/C, the weird rubbery smell the seats had… I can see why the school bus provides such nostalgia.

Magic bus


That’s so cute… this guy let a random child scribble a monster or other monstrosity, and he turned it into a permanent tat. Smart move!


Old blue eyes

I’m going to tell myself that this guy isn’t even aware of what’s going on back there. This is all a mean trick that a scorned wife or girlfriend did to him.

Right on the money

Right on the money

I wish I could make out the tattoo on his arm more clearly. But the “STUPID” across his forehead says enough, I guess. And what’s that he’s drinking?



My guess is that this tattoo was done on a dare. Or maybe it’s the ultimate in hipster irony? Either way, I’m sure it leads to a lot of funny conversations with strangers.


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